Oh Twenty-Two...

How I learn from you.  Okay, so I'm not quite twenty-two yet, but I'm only a month away and as I watch my friends slowly morph into official twenty-something year olds, I can't help but reflect upon what I always assumed would be the most amazing year of my life.

The big two-one started somewhat anticlimactically for me.  I had just come home from the semester I spent drinking abroad in Italy, so the whole bar thing wasn't quite as exciting as it may have been if I had spent the previous five months attending dirty basement parties.  Additionally, I realized that my birthday was on what I deem the most exciting holiday of the year: Memorial Day.  But all that really means is that The DMV is not only closed on Sunday May 28th but also on Monday May 29th.  And I was supposed to move into my new apartment a few days early, on Tuesday May 30th.  In other words, I didn't get to go to the DMV and have that exciting moment when my license goes from this:

To this:

Instead, I just renewed my license so it wouldn't expire and to this day, I still have the "Under 21" band around the picture of my sixteen-year old self.

But I rang in the twenty-first year of my life with a drunken bang just like everyone else. (Allegedly, I called my dad to wish him a Happy Birthday... it was not his birthday).  But I quickly discovered that twenty-one is not the raging age that I always believed it would be.  The allure of the bars quickly wore off and with every night that I get hit on by a man closer in age to my father than to me, I come a step closer to acknowledging the fact that I'm kind of a... grown-up...?

I hesitate to use that word for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to the fact that I don't pay my own cell-phone bill, I truly struggle to understand what a mortgage is and in six months time I'll be living under my parents' roof again.  But the truth of the matter is that for all intents and purposes, I am an adult.  An adult that has no idea what the fuck she's doing, but still an adult.  

Twenty-one has taught me a great number of things that I'll carry over to twenty-two and I thought I'd share some words of wisdom for you young'uns who may not have crossed over into the world of legal drinking.

1.  Hangovers are no longer worth it.  Binge drinking may still be as fun as it was four years ago, but truth be told, I can NOT handle a hangover the way I used to be able to.  It doesn't just ruin my day; it ruins my weekend.  I like waking up refreshed and feeling awesome.

2.  The bars are not filled with young, hot male suitors.  Hate to break this one to you ladies but the only type of guys you're going to find at the bars are horny old men or horny drunk college bro's.  Sure, the occasional nice guy hanging out with his friends will pass through, but chances are he won't stay for long.

3.  You will pay for the free drinks.  Perhaps not with money.  But if a guy buys you a drink, you owe him a conversation.  If you think this is worth it, refer back to point numero dos for exactly what kind of guy you'll be entertaining.

4.  You will at one point or another leave something at a bar.  And have to walk-of-shame back to that bar the following day to get said item back.  (For those of you who have missed it, I encourage you to go back and read my "I live at Metronome" post... I promise it's worth it).  A bars filth truly shines in the sun.

5.  They're fucking expensive.  The cheapest beer you'll find is probably around three dollars and then you have to tip your bartender.  And you definitely want to tip your bartender.  If you don't not only are you kind of a douche, but you will probably not get another drink that night.  

All in all, of course twenty-one is a great year, but it's a growing and learning as well.  I'm sure twenty-two will even more enlightening